![]() ![]() Unfortunately, if junior high starts later than high school, whatever trend you set now (say 10pm for a 7am wake time) will be the new norm and it will be psychologically very hard to go back to going to bed earlier if high school requires her to wake up at 6am. If she gets up at 7am, though, going to bed at 9:30 or 10pm might be acceptable. So, going to bed at 9pm may be better for her. And that would be getting only 8 hours, whereas her brain and body may benefit by getting 9 or more hours (for example, consolidation of memories learned that day is thought to happen during either REM sleep or slow wave sleep, depending on the type of memory sufficient sleep seems to play a role in emotional regulation). But it's unrealistic to go to bed and instantly fall asleep. If she gets up at 6am, to follow these guidelines at a bare minimum, she should be asleep by no later than 10:00pm sharp. Most sources right now give 8-10 hours as the range that teens need for sleep.Ī lot depends on when she has to get up for school. by sleep researcher William Dement, and sufficient sleep is particularly important to brains that are growing and learning so much each day. Not getting enough sleep has been considered an epidemic in the U.S. She often complains about dad not doing much with her and seeing him not often enough.The main thing is that your daughter is getting sufficient total sleep (not time in bed, but time asleep, and restorative deep sleep, not fitful sleep). it makes me very upset that she is missing on it. ![]() He used to be a good, active and hands on dad, we used to spend a lot of time outdoors, and they were very close. Whenever I suggest that he needs to spend more time with her and her only, he gets angry and tells me I have no right to tell him how to spend time with his daughter. And if they go anywhere, there is always one of his female friends with kids as an extra babysitter. He takes her outdoors maybe once a month, more often to fastfood places for food so he doesn't need to cook for her. Just fun times, ideally with his limited input. And then he takes her to school on Monday morning. When she goes to his around 4, she will maybe have dinner with him and goes to the neighbours around 5, then come back around 7, have supper and bath, a bit of reading and then sleep. ![]() And he happily limits that time even more. I don't mind that as such, as they are nice people, but she only sees her dad once a week for a couple of hours. When she visits him, she spends majority of her time at his friends place who live next door. He also has another bedroom but took a lodger now as he needs extra money for his 'travel and entertainment'.Īnd one more thing. He has a space in the bedroom to put a little sofabed for her. but her getting older and still sleeping with dad is my main concern. I find it disgusting tbh, the fact that my girl uses the bedding with OWs body liquids. He says I am ridiculous and only suggest it because I am still jealous of the OW. He thinks there is nothing wrong with 2 of them sleeping together as she can have daddies cuddles then and that he is her father, not some pervert. I tried to talk to him, using arguments that she is getting older and does need a separate bed, but he just laughs it off and says he is not going to change anything. The thought of my child sleeping in the same bed where he f *s OW makes me cringe. To clarify that: we lived in separate houses then but were very much together, however didn't move back in together as ex didn't start addressing his drinking problem properly, which was my condition for full reconcilliation. When I discovered him cheating last year, I realised that I must have slept in the same bedding at least couple if times and it made me sick. One more reason is the fact that ex sleeps in the same bed / bedding with his OW. I find it just not appropriate to share a bed with a grown up man, even her own dad, when she starts changing into a teenager. She looks older than 9 and already is very interested in all that teenage phase stuff, dressing up, make up. Now, it was OK when she was 6 or 7 but now I think she is getting too old for that. ![]() My 9 year old DD visits her dad on Sundays and usually stays there overnight. ![]()
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